How could a manmukh extinguish fire by puttion oil on it?
(Vaar 15, pauri 9).
The sensuous man suffers from mental and physical diseases,And undergoes great pain.
However, if we live a Gurmat-oriented lifestyle which involves doing a lot of simran and controlling our kaam, then our intellect will become heightened. Amritvela simran and control of the senses (especially the eyes) is essential. It helps to avoid things that trigger kaami thoughts. This includes avoiding television and popular music, even the commercials trigger kaam! Avoiding bad sangat and staying within the sadh sangat also helps. I have heard that if one wants to be a faqir he looks only a few yards ahead of him while walking. Although this may not be very advisable in many situations. Remember, the Guru is always with you and always watching you.
In the end, our own efforts are not enough. We must do ardass to the Guru and rely on His mercy be saved from kaam.
For more on how to fight kaam, see MKhalsa's article and shabd kaam maran deh.
Aasaa, Fifth Mehl:
For a moment of sexual pleasure, you shall suffer in pain for millions of days.
For an instant, you may savor pleasure, but afterwards, you shall regret it, again and again. ||1||
O blind man, meditate on the Lord, the Lord, your King.Your day is drawing near. ||1||Pause||
You are deceived, beholding with your eyes, the bitter melon and swallow-wort. But, like the companionship of a poisonous snake, so is the desire for another's spouse. ||2|| For the sake of your enemy, you commit sins, while you neglect the reality of your faith.Your friendship is with those who abandon you, and you are angry with your friends. ||3|| The entire world is entangled in this way; he alone is saved, who has the Perfect Guru. Says Nanak, I have crossed over the terrifying world-ocean; my body has become sanctified. ||4||5||127||
Aasaa, Fifth Mehl:
O Lord, You behold whatever we do in secrecy; the fool may stubbornly deny it. By his own actions, he is tied down, and in the end, he regrets and repents. || 1 || My God knows, ahead of time, all things. Deceived by doubt, you may hide your actions, but in the end, you shall have to confess the secrets of your mind. || 1 || Pause || Whatever they are attached to, they remain joined to that. What can any mere mortal do? Please, forgive me, O Supreme Lord Master. Nanak is forever a sacrifice to You. || 2 || 6 || 128 ||
imQn moh Agin sok swgr ] kir ikrpw auDru hir nwgr
Attachment to sex is an ocean of fire and pain. By Your Grace, O Sublime Lord, please save me from it.|| 1 ||
UPDATE: Another important point. When speaking with the opposite sex if you feel kaami thoughts you should address them as ''penji/paaji''. This will remind you that they are your sister/brother.